Stages [hide]
|--> Birth
|--> NICU
|--> Babies
Mom Topics [hide]
|--> Family
Support our Writers [hide]

banner

Mom Galleries [hide]
thumbnail
super_both_sm.jpg
thumbnail
6 month's
thumbnail
The view from our campsite.
thumbnail
Artin Arandiyan
Get the newsletter! [hide]
Email :
 
   

Forum: Children

Forums->Children->Freaked out son

Taylor_Blue
Taylor_Blue3104 points 
Canada
posts:98
5 stars
Freaked out son


Hi everyone. I have a really hard question and I'm freaking thinking about it. eek Ok here is the whole story. We keep on having fire alarms go off in our building. Most of them are false alarms. There has only been two times now that there has actually been a fire. So the last time it went off he was really funny afterwards (it was a false alarm) he wouldn't go to bed by himself anymore. We finally have almost got him back to normal. Except we have to sleep with him still. SO Tuesday we had another fire alarm go off. We had to wake him up and take him outside. The fire was in the next building from us. He didn't want to go back to bed or anything.

I thought it would be fine. But yesterday when I went to the gym he wanted me. ANd then today he heard a bell on the tv which sounded like the fire alarm and peed his pants. For the rest of the day he has peed his pants. About three times all together. I'm trying not to make a big deal about it to him but also I'm more worried than anything. Any hints???


  user offline
on: Thu 10 of May, 2007 [21:07 UTC] score: 3795.00 Vote: 1 2 3 4 5 reads: 16245

Posted messages

Top
author message
Taylor_Blue
Taylor_Blue3104 points 
Canada
posts:98
5 stars
user offline
Re: Freaked out son
on: Sat 26 of May, 2007 [16:45 UTC] score: 0.60 Vote: 1 2 3 4 5

Thanks for the amazing advice. You'll never guess what happened. It went off again this week. These things I guess are bound to happen and I can't help it. He has been a little more accepting of it. He has only been peeing his pants once a day. And for the bed thing he always sleeps with us. I just had him going to sleep by himself. THe fire house tour is a really good idea because that way they can tell him that its to be safe...Thank you again.



author message
kieransmom464 points 
posts:45
4 stars
user offline
Re: Freaked out son
on: Fri 25 of May, 2007 [23:53 UTC] score: 0.60 Vote: 1 2 3 4 5

This is a tough one, because you can't honestly tell him that there is nothing to be afraid of; a real fire can cause death and he is old enough to know it. Kelby's right, he sees something that is out of his control, and he knows it's out of your control too. Especially since he remembers the fire from last year. I think that the best thing to do is to show him that you take his fears seriously.

It does not shock me that he wants to sleep with you and has peed his pants. It's going to be annoying for a while, but let him sleep in your room until he feels safe in his room again. If you don't want him in your bed, then put his mattress on the floor in your room.

Don't chastise him about it, and don't tell him "this is only temporary, you need to be in your own room again soon" because he already knows that it's not a forever thing. Let your son hold your hand until he is ready to let go, don't do the letting go first!

And about the peeing, I don't think that you should put him back into diapers, that will send him the message that you think he is a failure. He'll find his way back to the toilet. Probably just reminding him every hour or so to use the toilet will suffice.

Help him to face his fears. Try taking him to the fire station for a tour. Tell the fire fighters in advance (on the sly) about your son's situation. They will take that in consideration and explain to your son how they keep people safe from fires. Before you leave the house, ask him if he wants to go. If he says no, then gently say "maybe next week, if you change your mind, we can go".

And finally, post a note near the fire alarms in your building and the one next door, for people to stop pulling false alarms, for the sake of your little boy! That has got to be driving you crazy!

Hope my advice helps.



author message
Taylor_Blue
Taylor_Blue3104 points 
Canada
posts:98
5 stars
user offline
Re: Freaked out son
on: Fri 11 of May, 2007 [13:33 UTC] score: 0.61 Vote: 1 2 3 4 5

He is four. We told him before that it's there to protect us. We had a big fire here upstairs about a year ago. It was a really scary experience mostly for us...But maybe our unease doesn't help. This time I got all composed before I even woke him up....I don't know...I wish that there was someway I could help him....neutral



author message

admin
United States of America
posts:58
4 stars
user offline
Re: Freaked out son
on: Thu 10 of May, 2007 [23:53 UTC] score: 0.60 Vote: 1 2 3 4 5

That poor little guy!! It sounds like he's been a bit traumatized by all this. How old is he? Maybe this is the first time he really realized something out of his control could hurt him. I would try talking about what happened in a relaxed manner (maybe more by saying how it scared you), and not so much talk about how it has impacted him. It may just be something that takes a little time. I feel so badly for him!! cry




Page: 1/1

Show posts:
Jump to forum:
Support the Mom and Dad Wiki [hide]

Shoutbox [hide]
Taylor_Blue3104 points , 00:00 UTC, Thu 15 of Nov, 2007: Happy Thanksgiving!!!
Taylor_Blue3104 points , 02:17 UTC, Mon 27 of Aug, 2007: I can't believe it's almost Labor Day already!! Where did the summer go?
Taylor_Blue3104 points , 20:57 UTC, Tue 31 of Jul, 2007: it's finally a cool day here...omg...finally...had to wear a sweater...what a change!
RSS Wiki RSS Blogs rss Articles RSS Image Galleries RSS File Galleries RSS Forums rss Directories
[ Execution time: 0.23 secs ]   [ Memory usage: 16.76MB ]   [ 289 database queries used ]   [ GZIP Disabled ]   [ Server load: 0.17 ]

Creative Commons License

Mom Wiki at Type-A Mom by Type-A Mom is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at www.typeamom.net.