Strategies for the International Adoption Wait

Written by Dianna Brodine

Mom Topics - Adoption and Foster Children

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Waiting for the ‘next step’ in the adoption process is hard, whether that next step is application approval, the infamous I-171H, referral, or travel approval. Many waiting moms (and dads!) have resorted to huge amounts of chocolate, but I’ll try to provide a few more productive suggestions.

Surviving the Adoption Wait: Part 1

Get involved with an adoption forum.

Everyone there knows how you’re feeling and is happy to celebrate… or whine… with you when needed. Your family is a wonderful source of support, but they aren't nearly as obsessed about the process and its ups and downs as you are. Find a forum and feel free to let it all out! For help finding a forum, check out this article.

Learn more about the country you plan to adopt from.

Visit the country's news sites for information on the country’s economy, politics, population, and culture. Visit music sites like iTunes to hear samples of traditional and current songs. Look for movies - American-made or foreign-made - that are set in the country you hope to adopt from. Don’t forget to check the local library or bookstore for travel dvds and travel guides.

Read.

Most adoption agencies have a list of books recommended for adoptive parents, but I'd recommend going beyond adoption-related literature. Go to your local library or bookstore and find books by authors born in the country you hope to adopt from. Search for stories set in that country. Find histories, biographies... branch out from fiction! Take the time to learn about the cultural and historical factors that have shaped the country.

Become an adventurous eater!

The internet abounds with recipes for ethnic food. The library or bookstore will be sure to have cookbooks that reference the country you are adopting from, and you may be able to find an ethnic restaurant nearby. Is there an Asian market or an ethnic grocery store nearby? Stop in!

Think about souvenirs.

Some families buy gifts for significant times in their child’s life – birthdays, graduation, wedding – while in the country of their child's birth. Are there people who’ve helped you during the adoption process that you would like to give a gift to (people who wrote reference letters, watched other children while you travel, or mowed the lawn while you were gone)? Now is a good time to work on that gift list, because once you get your travel call things move very quickly and you may forget someone important!

Check back soon for tips 6-10!

Dianna is the mother of three daughters, one of whom was born in Vietnam. She blogs about adoption and life at Mama in Pajamas.

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Stella 2009-06-08 22:22:25 We may ve writing to the converted here, but anyway, please see the INICEF approved link > http://about-orphans.blogspot.com

michelleharwellmft (Author) 2009-08-21 11:39:11 Online support was crucial to me during my adoption process. It helped on a practical level in terms of getting detailed questions answered about the paper chase and in terms of the emotional up and downs that international adoption brings. Another thing I encourage adoptive parents to do is form a support group or attend a professionally led support group that is geared towards adoptive parents. The adoption process can involve issues of grief and loss for both parents and child. Gaining support during that time of waiting can really help families make a smoother transition once they come home with their child. Michelle www.michelleharwellmft.com

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