How to Help Your Family and Friends Understand Infertility

Written by Lisa Hallas

Mom Stages - Trying to Conceive

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When you are going through infertility, you can feel like the black sheep of the family. Everyone seems to have procreated without any problems. Family and friends tell you to "relax" and wonder why you need to take hormones and spend so much money for treatments. It is especially difficult to explain when there is no scientific reason for your infertility - unexplained infertility. So, what can you do to try to help your family and friends understand your situation better?

Share Your Experience -

The most important thing you can do for your close friends and family is to share your experience with them. Many people think that their nearest and dearest don't want to know about your struggle in trying to conceive. Most likely, they don't want to ask for the sake of your privacy. But, they are curious and concerned and want to understand better. Try to share your feelings as directly yet non-technically as possible. It is easy to use infertility terminology like IUI, ICSI, clomid, hCG and basal chart. To this day, I don't think my mom understands that I did IUI and not IVF and what the difference is. Just let them know the generalities of treatment and how you and your spouse feel about it. From there, you will know how much they know about it already and how much they want to know. Remember that close family, such as a mom may be dealing with her own feelings of potentially not being a grandmother, as she had hoped.

Be Honest -

People who have not had to deal with infertility do not understand that their well-intentioned comments may sting and not help at all. Comments such as - "You need to go on vacation and you will get pregnant", "Maybe you need to focus on something else for a while", "It will happen. Don't worry". If you can, be honest with your friends and family and just tell them how you feel. Your family will most likely appreciate it so they know how to be more thoughtful with their comments When you are going through infertility, it can feel like you are the black sheep of the family. Everyone seems to have procreated without any problems. Family and friends tell you to "relax" and wonder why you need to take hormones and spend so much money for treatments. It is especially difficult to explain when there is no scientific reason for your infertility - unexplained infertility. So, what can you do to try to help your family and friends understand your situation better?

Provide Resources -

Once you start having an open dialogue with family and close friends, they will most likely want to learn more to better understand infertility and support you in your treatments. Provide them with internet sites, articles and books to help them understand what infertility is and what treatments are. This way they will be able to offer you the support you really need.

Take a Break -

Most people will be very empathetic, understanding and supportive. But, there may be some friends or family members that don't seem to get it, may be embarrassed by it and don't seem to want to support you as you need it. For those people, give yourself the liberty of taking a break for a while. YOu need focus and support right now. If people seem to remain unsensitive and uncaring to your situation, give yourself a break from that relationship for a while. You may even want to simply say - "I am going through some personal things right now and need my space". That way, you can take a break without hurt feelings.

External Resources:

www.resolve.org

www.ehow.com

About the Author:

Lisa Hallas is the Type-A Mom Trying to Conceive Editor. She has several years of experience with infertility treatment and was blessed with 2 wonderful girls as the result. She currently works part-time as a community relations manager and has her own blog for busy moms, www.supermomstop.blogspot.com

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