Mom Types - Single Moms

User Rating: / 0
PoorBest 

Sometimes life takes an unexpected turn and you find yourself a single mother, alone and in despair. The problems in your life could be because you have not taken to time to grieve failed relationships and disappointments. It’s easy to say you are over it, but if you were truly over it you would feel differently right now.

Sometimes life takes an unexpected turn and you find yourself a single mother, alone and in despair. Everything in you world seems to be falling apart and you find yourself being snappy at the kids, depressed, unable to focus on simple tasks, and have absolutely no energy.

It’s hard to put your finger on exactly what is wrong so you go through the motions and hope things will get better. Soon your behavior is affecting not only your family life, but your work is slipping on the job. Being a single mom has many unique challenges, too many to count sometimes, and you just feel like giving up.

A year ago I felt the same way as I was faced with one of the hardest experiences in my life. I had to face myself and really be honest about who I was, what I felt, and how it impacted those around me. I also had to grieve several loses all at once. I lost my marriage, the love of my life, and a home I had grown to love. The grieving process was not long in terms of intensity because it had been underway for a while; I just never allowed it to come to full completion before then.

The problems in your life could be because you have not taken to time to grieve failed relationships and disappointments. It’s easy to say you are over it, but if you were truly over it you would feel differently right now. So what is there to grieve? Nobody died right, at least not physically. But there was the death of a relationship and that can be just as traumatic no matter how long or short it was.

If a child is born from that union there was some kind of relationship and likely expectations. When the relationship ends, whether through divorce, death, or a breakup the unfulfilled expectations leaves a gaping void and it affects your entire life. The only way to fill the void is to deal with the loss through proper grieving.

So what are the steps of grieving. The Kubler-Ross model of grieving suggests five steps: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. The stages do not always happen in that order, and they may occur more than once. The important thing is not to get stuck in one stage for too long or permanently.

Acceptance should be the final stage before you are able to move forward and begin the healing process. Children should also be allowed and encouraged to go through these stages of grief when they lose someone. They probably feel the loss just as much as you do but may express it differently.

If you feel unable to go through the process alone or just need guidance call a therapist who specializes in grief counseling. You may also want to speak to your child’s school counselor and ask them to help your child as well. True healing can never begin until the grief process is complete. You owe it to yourself and your children to begin the healing today.

Samantha Gregory is a native of Atlanta, GA. She graduated from Southern Adventist University with an Associate of Science degree in Architectural Studies and Graphic Design. Her Bachelor of Arts degree from Oakwood College is in English and Communications. Both degrees were excellent preparation for writing 100 Secrets of Successful Single Motherhood as was the school of life. Samantha is a single mother to two awesome kids. The experience compelled her to begin journaling about her life, which lead to writing the book.

---

Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites

< Prev		Next >