Do You Need Parental Control Software to Teach Your Kids Safe Surfing?

Written by Carol Finch

Mom Topics - Family Technology

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I had one of those 'Mom moments' when my son was around 7. He was messing around on the family PC, and I suddenly noticed he was Googling. Turns out that his teacher had been teaching the class about surfing and how to find out stuff on the Internet.

I guess I was torn between feeling proud that he was doing something so advanced and worried about what this new stage would bring. Up till then I'd had control over what he did online. Suddenly, he was up, running and global. He still couldn't find a matching pair of socks in the morning but he now had the key to the Internet.

Don't get me wrong, the Internet is a fantastic resource for kids. It can also be a minefield of potential issues and problems. This led us to thinking, earlier than we had expected, about how we could manage his surfing habits and how we could teach him about safe surfing.

Some of my friends with kids in his class learned the hard way. One boy accidentally downloaded malware on to their PC by clicking on a jolly little ad for free smileys. It was a long time before he was allowed back online, partly because of the time it took to fix their machine!

The choice we all have to make is whether we try to educate our kids into learning safe surfing practices or whether we go down the parental software path. We decided on the former route; many choose to lock down with the latter.

There's nothing wrong with parental software controls and many parents prefer this as a solution. It will, for example, allow them to:

• block inappropriate sites and content;
• get alerts if their child tries to do something/access sites that they shouldn't;
• monitor what they do and say online;
• set time limits on their child's surfing.

For many, however, this is a draconian approach. We ultimately took a middle ground alternative and set up some parental controls to block certain types of content. But, young as he is, I didn't want to 'nanny' what he does online by using a full software solution that logs every site he visits and keystroke he makes.

We've had lots of talks about online safety and we have been upfront about the dangers and problems that he could come across if he doesn't think before he surfs. Like many boys of his age, it's the thinking that hurts but, bless him, he's trying! Talking about what it would be like to have no computer or how he would feel if we blocked his access has helped.

Like many parents, we have set out informal guidelines as well rather than blocking/controlling what he does. He knows, for example, that he isn't allowed to:

• access new sites without asking first;
• ever click on an advert, even to close it down;
• open sites via searches unless they are 'OK'ed' by our anti-virus site checker.

Kids learn best from their own mistakes and those that they see others make. Since his friend completely screwed up his PC my son would never dream of clicking on an advert online because he has seen for himself what it might do. We're aware that its early days in his online life and we may need to keep an eye on the situation, especially when he discovers social networking and IM. But, for now, this is working for us.

Carol Finch is a UK based freelancer writing for a broad client base and for herself as a Contributing Writer at Suite101