Desperate Times, Desperate Measures: Relaxing with Kids Around

Written by Jenny Ingram Saturday, November 28 2009 20:02

Mom Topics - Just for Mom

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Do you have the same problem as I do? You WANT to relax, you NEED to relax, but there is no available babysitter… or no available funds to secure a babysitter. What can a woman do to find sanity when resources are tight?

I ask this question as a mom who still has a preschooler. My youngest is in preschool about 7 hours a week. The rest of the time - she is mine. Allll mine. My husband heads to work very early, and doesn't get home until, again, LATE… which means it is all my responsibility to get the older two off to school, picked-up from school, off to activities, guided through homework, and dinner underway.

There are very few opportunities in a standard day to grab quiet moments - assuming "rest and relaxation" require a state of quiet.

It has been particularly tight in our home financially. There was a time I could afford to grab a sitter every few weeks to either run errands alone, or take care of household tasks without a little one tugging at my apron strings, or just to escape.
These factors have challenged me to find a way to fight harder for my sanity. What can I do to find some relaxation when most of my time is shared with little Nazis my children?

Sure - I could do a babysitting co-op. But that concept is not relaxing to me. Just not right now… in this season of my life. My husband and I do take turns with guy vs. girl night, which is always a nice treat. And I guess I can hide in my bathroom and listene to incessant knocking on the door.

But…

In this season of my life I have come to realize something. I have spent lots of energy seeking-out ways to relax - without my children. I am discovering a perspective shift. I am realizing I *might* be able to relax WITH my children.

It is certainly not ideal, but as a mom I have had to let go of most those! I *think* I am learning I can rest with my children.

The key for me is a shift in perspective. "Rest" used in a traditional way may look a bit different. For example, snuggle time isn't just for bonding… I am finding it can be a rest-time for me too. It's taken 10 years to realize this?

This has become a shift in the way I look at how I spend time with my kids. When I have to take my kids on errands with me, I focus on being looser… to goof-off a bit to soften the edges of my stressed-out mind and heart. When I am doing chores, I try to choose to go about things different;y. It means I have to amend the end goal (complete laundry domination), but it also means the stress-level comes way down.

What about you? Have you already mastered the art of relaxing WITH kids around? What wisdom do you have? Or... have I just lost my mind?

Jenny Ingram is the mother of three children (ages 4, 7 and 10) and lives near Seattle in Washington state. She loves writing here at Type-A Mom, for her own blog (Jenny On The Spot), and has a passion for encouraging moms in this journey...for she has been encouraged. You can also find her on Twitter!