Date Night At Home

Written by Jodi Cleghorn Monday, March 09 2009 01:40

Mom Topics - Family and Marriage

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Hildy Silverman asks in her article Date Night for Parents: “Miss the days when you and your spouse were dating? When you could decide at the spur-of-the-moment to spend Friday night enjoying dinner and a movie? Well, what’s stopping you?”

The answer is obvious to any parent you ask.  Kids and money!

But spend time together you must.  Research shows that couples who schedule time together are more likely to have a healthy, enjoyable sex lives and are less likely to stray into affairs. Spending time together cements and grounds each individual in a relationship – which is especially important once children are added into the equation and individual roles and expectations are in constant flux.  And let’s face it – dating is fun.

But leaving the house can be difficult.  Increasing numbers of parents are finding their budgets shrinking and luxuries such as a movie, dinner and the cost of a babysitter something that can no longer be factored in.  And even when you do have friends or family who are willing to help out with the kids, parents with small babies often feel uncomfortable (especially if they are on-demand breastfed) to leave their tiny infant with others. And the hassles of getting your children and yourself organised can leave you exhausted before you set foot out of the door.

There is answer.  You can have a date night at home.  It’s cheap; it requires no travel or a baby sitter.  It does, however, require some organisation and getting the kids to bed at a sensible hour.  But for one night a week, working together, miracles can occur.

So let’s get creative and innovative about how to spend quality time together at home. Here are ten suggestions for how to create a Date Night experience at home.

1. See a movie

Spend time snuggled together on the couch watching a favourite movie, or a TV series/new release DVD you didn’t quite get to seeing when it first came out. Don’t let all the fun end with the movie.  Go out for coffee afterwards! Make a hot chocolate, tea or coffee, enjoy some pre-organised biscuits and cake and discuss the movie.

2. Play a Game

Dust off your favourite board games or take out your deck of cards and enjoy games you never get a chance to play anymore. Have chips, pretzels and beer at hand. Let your hair down.  Play Twister or argue tongue-in-cheek over who is going to be the banker.

3. Go Dancing

Put on your favourite music, dim the lights and bump, shuffle or grind your way around the living room.  If you can spare the time, dress up as though you were going out dancing – make it as authentic as possible.

4. Meet Up for After Dinner Drinks

The deck, patio or cleaned kitchen bench can easily be transformed with some candles to enjoy cocktails or a bottle of bubbly. Dress up in your best cocktail attire and take it in turns to make or pour the drinks and think of something to talk about other than the kids! If you don't drink - make it coffee or hot chocolate.

5. Meet for a Late Night Supper

Splash out on a favourite bottle of wine, some gourmet cheese and crackers, chocolates or other evil treats that you never get to enjoy now. Put on a favourite shirt or top that’s been gathering dust at the back of the wardrobe. Spend time just talking with each other.  As parents the opportunity to converse without interruption is next to zero.

6. Indulge in a Massage

Set a timer and spending ten minutes massaging an area of the body – feet, hands, neck, shoulders, head.  Then swap!  Use a basic nut oil (such as sweet almond oil) or go all out with an aromatherapy blend designed to invoke love and togetherness.

7. Get Wet

Share a bath, shower, spa or jacuzzi – or go for a night swim if it’s summer and you have a pool. Take in a bottle of wine or sparkling mineral water. Soak, chat, relax and enjoy being together.  My partner loves me shaving his face and I am sucker for having my hair washed.

8. Enjoy a Picnic

If you have children who sleep during the day, spread out the picnic rug and enjoy some cold chicken, potato salad and a bottle of something chiled in the back yard.  If not, give the kids a light dinner and enjoy a candle light picnic somewhere special in your house.

9. Go Out for a Special Meal

Get one partner to set up one part of the house as if a romantic restaurant – candles, table clothe, flowers and something divine to eat.  Dress up and make your grand entrance. Return the favour the following week.This one is best done on the weekend.

10. Make Out! 

If you’re relatively sure that you’re not going to get caught, make out like teenagers. Snuggle up on the couch, kiss, neck, let your hands wander. As Silverman points out – too many parents rush straight into intercourse and miss the deliciousness that comes with just being physically present and in contact with each other … and it’s a little bit naughty!

With a little imagination and some planning a date night at home can be just as enjoyable as a date night out.

Jodi Cleghorn is Type A Moms Breastfeeding Mom and the co-author of Reclaim Sex After Birth: the survival guide.  She is encouraging all couples wishing to reconnect with each other to sign up for the Date Night Challenge in March and April.

Image compliments of Bethany Ewens via Photobucket

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