Breastfeeding Acceptance
Written by Jodi Cleghorn Wednesday, May 13 2009 09:40
It started off as a bit of a joke, when Rick Flores called his wife Melanie’s breastfeeding buddies on Facebook “The Boobs.” From that one comment the next wave of lactivism on Facebook was born.
Thursday, May 14th, Melanie Flores, creator of the Facebook group Breastfeeding Acceptance is asking all Facebook users to Breastfeed Your Name. It is as simple as going into the setting of your Facebook account and choosing a fun or creative middle name (or hyphenating your surname) to show breastfeeding matters to you, then going to the events page and RSVP-ing your attendance.
Flores, mum or four, knows what she’s talking about when it comes to raising awareness and acceptance of breastfeeding, which is what the Breastfeed Your Name rally is all about. For Flores, ignorance is the biggest hurdle to bringing mothers and babies together at the breast.
"I had never been exposed to breastfeeding and ignorantly thought ‘everyone' bottle feeds, it must be what I am ‘supposed’ to do. Ignorance was my biggest fault when it came to breastfeeding. I am trying to prevent that from being the reason others do not breastfeed.”
Doing what she believed was the social norm, Flores bottle fed her first two babies. There was no encouragement to breastfeed from any of the health professionals she saw during her pregnancy and was sent home from her 32-week ante natal check with sample packs of formula.
“That made me think, 'It must be better to bottle feed, otherwise I wouldn't be getting these samples at the Dr's office.' There were times when my babies cried and I felt the urge to breastfeed them, but I fought the urge."
How does a bottle-feeding mother rethink breastfeeding and trail blaze a path of education through the world’s leading social networking platforms in the wake of her embracement of breastfeeding?
Two events sparked Flores’ interest in knowing more about breastfeeding. The first was being diagnosed with Celiac Disease five years ago after the birth of her second daughter Lia. In her research, Flores found that breastfeeding diminishes a child’s chances of developing the auto immune disease – not unlike asthma and other chronic conditions. The second was attending Sarah McLachlan’s concert when Lia was three weeks old, when McLachlan mentioned breastfeeding her daughter.
Flores says, “I would love to personally thank Sarah for what she said at her concerts and on her Afterglow DVD. I was inspired to breastfeed my future children even more.”
While pregnant with her third child Flores made the decision to breastfeed, going on to breastfeed Zane for 21 months and she is still breastfeeding his 10-month-old brother Raiden.
Flores assumed her decision to breastfeed meant she would have to stay at home and she did not publicly breastfeed for the first few months, believing it wasn’t what "polite" people did.
“After I became accustomed to breastfeeding I thought, the 'polite' thing to do would be to respect my son and his hunger. I then fed him in public. If someone didn't like me breastfeeding my son it was their problem, not mine. My son’s hunger and comfort WAS my problem and I have the solution - breastfeeding!”
Breastfeeding is protected in Flores’ home state of Ohio under section 3781.55 which states: A mother is entitled to breast-feed her baby in any location of a place of public accommodation wherein the mother otherwise is permitted. In short – anywhere and everywhere!
As Flores points out, it is important the public be desensitized to breastfeeding. Mother’s are busy women who need to run errands, shop, collect older children from school and attempt to maintain some semblance of a life. On any one of those outings a child may need to be breastfed. A mother should not have to think, Can I breastfeed here? What will people say? Will they stare at me? Will I be asked to leave? In that moment of primal hunger – a mother just wants to feed her baby.
“It isn't just breastfeeding moms that need the information on breastfeeding rights, it is those who will come into contact with her in this moment, who need it more. Acceptance of breastfeeding doesn't mean they need to like it, just accept it.”
In 2007, Flores created Breastfeeding Acceptance on MySpace then Facebook and now hosts a website of the same name. Flores has successfully used the social networking platform to spread the word about the joys and benefits of breastfeeding, fighting the ignorance that had once informed her own decisions. The groups have also become the catalyst for bringing women of all walks of life and nationalities together to support each other and share their wisdom.
After being dubbed “The Boobs” Flores and her friends decided it would be fun to adopt breastfeeding names. Flores became Melactate and not to be outdone, and to lend his support, husband Rick has recently become Rick "Boobymilk" Flores.
“I realized if people change their names to a breastfeeding related name it is just one more way to expose others to the topic of breastfeeding. Their friends will see their 'new' name on their feed and expose them to the idea of breastfeeding. It is a 'symbol' of a choice us mothers have in choosing to breastfeed our young.”
Unlike former breastfeeding rallies on Facebook, it isn’t necessarily all about the sheer weight of numbers. It is the pervasiveness of the networks! My 200+ friends are all currently reading posts from Jodi “Thanksforthemammaries” Cleghorn. And having changed my name a few weeks ago, I have had numerous comments about my name change already ranging from people being amused by it - the most subtle and socially accepted form of the social cringe and being told I’m obsessed - which seems to be the stock standard answer whenever I try to fly in the face of social norms.
Breastfeeding Your Name is all about the drop in the ocean and the ripple on effect. One knows that with passionate, articulate and committed women like Melanie Flores leading the assault on public perceptions and utilizing the technology to do it, the drops in the ocean will be numerous, the pebbles boulder sized and the waves far reaching.
Breastfeed Your Name runs for a 24-hour period on Thursday, May 14th. Participants are reminded to not only change their name but to hit “attend” on the RSVP tool bar of the events page.
Images: Breastfeeding Acceptance (c) Rick Flores 2008, from private collection.
Jodi Cleghorn is a Brisbane mother, writer, lactivist and natural birth advocate. She is the co-author of the book Reclaim Sex After Birth: the survival guide and recently appointed third partner in the Australia distributorship of Orgasmic Birth. She is continually grateful for the sistership found on Facebook and thanks Melanie and her family for the time and wisdom they shared with her!
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