Widowed Moms

Written by Sherry Carr Smith

Mom Types - Widowed Moms

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Widowhood can descend at any time and it often takes everyone, especially the new widow, by surprise. I don't know that anyone is ever prepared for it, even if you are expecting your spouse to die. I certainly wasn't prepared for it, but here I am.

Introduction to Widowhood

I was married to my husband, Mark, for one month shy of 10 years, and we'd been together for nearly four years before that. We started dating when I was 16 and he was 19. We were babies. Mark and I grew up together, and went through many growing pains, but managed to stay together and get through them.

When Mark and I had been married for almost eight years, we decided to try to get pregnant. One of the reasons we waited for a while was that Mark was an active alcoholic, and while I loved him and was willing to try to help him overcome his addiction, neither of us was willing to bring a baby into that situation. So, when Mark got sober, we started trying to get pregnant. It took us 14 months to get pregnant, stay pregnant, and have our son, Nicholas.

Fast forward a few months after N was born. Mark got a stomach bug, got very sick, had a lot of complicating factors (that were never fully explained), and ended up in the hospital in September. He was there a couple of weeks, misdiagnosed, sent home, and was home for 8 days before he had to go back to the hospital. Mark was in the second hospital for 6 days before he went into a coma. He was in the coma for about 3 weeks before it was determined that he had no brain activity (other than brain stem activity), and I had him taken off of life support. It took 8 tortuous days for him to die. He died November 19, 2005, one month shy of our 10th wedding anniversary. Mark was 33, I was 30 and Nicholas was 5 months old.

That's how I became a widow and a first-time mom in the same year. Needless to say, it was a tumultuous time. I'd like to help others through that difficult transition, from wife to widow; from partnered to single.

Feel free to post, ask questions, suggest topics, anything to help the understanding of this difficult discussion.

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MrBill4957 (Author) 2008-10-17 15:45:56 Dear Sherry: I stumbled upon your blog during my journey down grief's road. My wife died on February 25 of this year at age 48...235 days have passed (but who's counting)...Kelly was the greatest person I've ever known...she taught me so much about life. God blessed me so richly when He brought us together. I have found a real need to talk to others such as yourself who have lost a spouse...and have children...and now are both a mom and dad. It's a different journey...a new normal...that very few understand. I have found the need to reach out to others that may be starting this journey, much like you did. I accept God's will...I hope to share Kelly's life and use it as my motivation to serve God and help others. God bless you for starting your blog...it helps others. Regards. Bill http://kellysangel-org.blogspot.com/

artificiallyawake (Author) 2008-10-19 05:55:57 Oh My God! You brave, strong woman. I bow to you and your fortitude to have gone through so much and still be strong, but I'm sure not without pain. I cannot even imagine what you have been through and felt, but I felt your pain in your article and your strength in your son together. Thank you for writing this article.

A note of encouragement ! Cebe 2009-01-31 22:48:21 Dear ,Sheery ! I"m deeply move by your story ! and I want to share a word of encouragement to you I had learned there"s a word in the Bible : hope, faith, and love ... the greatest of all three is love , for love can and will endure all things ,so I extend my sympathie to you ! and wish would be encourage and find the comfort in the friendship you have had with poeple you know !! If not you can share it with a man who write this line to you , a single man have a lot of to give !!! :-)

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