New Motherhood
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You don't just wake up the day after you deliver and become a mom. There is a process involved for the transition to motherhood, and that can be very important for new moms to realize. Get advice and tips on the transition to motherhood. |
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I think most, if not all, of us have heard about motherly instincts. I have heard people say that all women will know what to do once the baby is here. I cannot begin to count the number of times I was told to "not worry, just trust my instincts; being a mother is the most natural thing in the world for a woman". While I agree that being a mother may come naturally for a lot of women, it didn't seem to come so naturally to me. So, I decided to do what I do best...research and learn how to be a mom.
I bought books on developmental stages, how to discipline, how to deal with isolation, how to cope with tantrums, how to encourage learning, how to support dad, etc. I was actually quite proud of myself. Instead of continuing to feel inadequate, guilty, depressed and ashamed, I fought back. I thought to myself if every woman just knew how to be a mother, then why are there so many books written on the subject. I also thought that surely I wasn't the only one to feel that motherhood didn't come so naturally.I quickly realized that I was wrong. I was wrong because when I mentioned something I read from one of my many books, I heard comments such as, "you had to read a book to know that" or "you can't learn to be a mother from a book". So, needless to say that those feelings of inadequacy, guilt, depression and isolation crept into my psyche once again. I was so disappointed and confused I didn't know what to do. The fighter in me said to ignore everyone, I was doing the right thing; but, the lack of experience was overwhelming. I felt so lost.
Until one day, I decided enough is enough. I loved my son with every inch in me and I wanted to do right by him and my family. The books in my library were informative, inspirational and funny. Those books taught me how to handle difficult and challenging days. It excused me for not being a perfect mother (as one of the articles written by one of the type a moms, The Perfect Mother Does Not Exist, reminded me). It helped me to accept that I was not alone and it prepared me for the phases my child might experience.
To those natural mothers, I appauld you because being a mother is the most difficult, yet rewarding, experience I have had thus far. However, to those of you who are like me and need a little guidance, I say to seek it. Do not feel ashamed or guilty. You are not inadequate and you are not alone. The truth is motherhood is hard. You are going to have your good days and your bad days; but, at the end of the day, whether motherhood comes to you naturally or you need to read books to figure it out, in your child's eyes, you are simply mom and that is all that matters.
A list of some of my favorite books are below. These books can be found on www.amazon.com.
Discipline Without Shouting or Spanking: Practical Solutions to the Most Common Preschool Behavior Problems by Jerry Wyckoff, PH.D and Barbara C. Unell
Chicken Soup for the Soul: On Being a Parent by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen
Your Baby & Child: From Birth to Age Five by Penelope Leach
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Postpartum nutrition is just as important as healthy eating during pregnancy. After nine solid months of seeking out nutrient-dense food sources for the well-being of the child, nutrition should still be a top priority. The pregnancy is over, the moment of birth has passed, now it is time to focus on recovery.
When I was pregnant, in preparation for the arrival of my baby, I read as many baby books as I could consume. You may have done something similar. I thought I was as prepared as possible and I thought I would know just what to do when my daughter arrived. Then, she was born and broke all of the rules I knew and I panicked. Panicked! What are you supposed to do when your baby isn't following the guidelines, the rules, or the advice of the experts?
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I have some new tips for you all new moms ther ei can understand how hard it can be first few months...no rest .no sleep and .. and no life ! Don't worry it will get better as soon babies start growing up till then here are some tips you can try .
I don't think I enjoyed staying at home with my children as much as I should have. I think I honestly thought the day would never come that I would be given an opportunity to go back to work. Well, the day arrived and now I am wondering why I thought the grass would be greener over here.
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I'm the happiest person I know. I'm a radical optimist, lover of life. Even road ragers. I love them too. So when postpartum psychosis hit me after my daughter's first birthday, I fell very far from my "happy tree".
How do you get your baby to sleep through the night? After a few months of nights that are interrupted by your little one, you may feel a very desperate need for a quick answer to this question.
Before you begin looking for the answer, keep two things in mind. First, there is no right answer. What works for one baby may not work for yours, and that's ok. You are looking for a process or solution that works for your baby and your family. Second, once you have decided that it is time, sleep training is as much for your baby as it is for mom and the rest of the family. Sleep deprivation is not a pretty thing.
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